Mid-Week Message: Stop the Chasing

I know that you may have heard that “birds of the same feather, flock together.” But I say to you today, “vultures of the same feathers are flocking together.”
Recently, a lady started chatting me up on FB and after several messages from her, I decided to respond. At first, I asked her why she was making herself vulnerable because of the nature of her messages. I started telling her something about “the virtuous woman”
Then she replied, “oga Mike, are you for real?” I responded, “no, I am just pretending.” And then she wrote, “lol…”

I know that many beautiful girls are taking aback when some guys don’t respond positively to their advances, and they wonder, “what kind of a guy is this, I gave it to him free and he rejects it?”
Now listen to the secret: some of us guys like to search for our own food and having found it, we place our order and take it away. Once we get home, we unwrap it, warm it up, savour the aroma and then eat it slowly with all pleasure. If it remains, we refrigerate it; we don’t like eating in the street.

Another part of the secret is that we are not holier than the many other guys who would jump at the approach of a very beautiful girl, why? Perhaps it is because we have gotten to the point where we can boldly say, “I have the best, I need no other. And since I have the best, I have everything I need.” So we don’t talk to pedestrians, we just go straight to our appointment.

Mark Zuckerberg has used FB to destroy all the other small “dating sites” that existed before FB. But the amazing thing is that, some of us who never gave out our credit card details to register on those sites then, are still not prepared to receive invoice from anybody today.

Until now, I thought Women are attracted to men who lead, who initiate the “pursuing or “pursuit” even if the lady hasn’t started running yet, so naturally, if the lady leads, it will ruin the attraction. Of course, I like the culture where the women are not subtle at all with their interest and are often willing to initiate. But this is only because I support women to be free and independent, not because I want to be a beneficiary of such freedom. And so, when you go after a man who is NOT attracted to you, your pursuing him could make him less attracted to You.
So be patient!

Another added problem I can see arising is if you as a woman makes it too easy for a guy, why on earth would you turn around and still expect some sort of commitment or investment afterward from him? Where you come from sef? Oya answer: can an entire relationship work with the woman regularly assuming the assertive role and the man following? In theory, absolutely! And I’m sure it might work for some couples. But I do think men and women’s biological proclivities will make this uncommon or an exception rather than the rule.

Since most men spend their time unsure of whether a woman actually likes them or not, my advise to women is to begin speaking up and asserting their desires more openly, not only will it force more of society to come to terms with accepting women’s sexuality, but it will also reduce the sexual ambiguity men live in. But please, don’t start calling him names if he fails to make any commitment because, before man and God, he didn’t initiate this, even if you managed to prod him into making promises. However, your added advantage is that, as a woman, you are more likely to suffer fewer rejections than most men would endure in the hands of women. So Good luck, the ball is already in your court, if you take the right steps, the key can too.
(MIU, August, 2013).



Source: Mike Ikem Umealo (Amara Blessing)