Mid-Week Message: Remain A Woman

When I look at today’s woman, I wonder where we are going. I wonder what we are passing down to our children to make them feel Nigerian and African.
Women used to be more bothered about the kind of plates, pots, and cutleries they have in their kitchen and dinning area. A woman used to see the kitchen as her number one office. But as usual, civilization has done more harm than good.

I was raised to know that a man must be respected as a king in his own home. Mind you; I am not talking about men abusing women and trampling on their rights. I am speaking as an Igbo woman who, even though well read and traveled, is not ready to let go of some of her traditions. I choose to remain a woman!

My mother taught me that because the man is the head of the home, he must be treated as such. You know how you treat your kindred and village heads; treat your husband same way. She taught me that in the home, nobody should be allowed to use my husband’s plates and cutleries because that shows he is just like every other person to you. These days we have lost it. We no longer bother about the kind of plate we use for his food. In fact, we often tell them to go serve themselves while we sit in front of the TV watching “Desperate Housewives” as they use a plastic plate to eat.

We are often misled by men who tell us they don’t care about that. Truth is; every man wants to be made a king by his woman and that is why he won’t hesitate to leave you for that little girl who is ready to serve him and make him feel like a man. He loves you so much but he won’t think twice before redirecting his heart to that woman (could be an illiterate) who has the ability to show him that he is a man.

I have heard ladies complain about men dumping them after all they did for them. My question has always been: when you were giving him all the money and buying him those designer shirts and belts, how was your attitude towards him? He can only take it from you for as long as he remains down financially. He will go for that woman who will be a woman for him the very day he makes some cash.


Be sure to know the kind of delicacies he enjoys most and make it a point of duty to prepare them. I believe love shouldn’t be about us but the next person. Women were created by God to be selfless but it’s sad that feminism is gradually stealing that away from us. We are called to be mothers to our children and also the man that God has sent into our lives. Not an insult, but men will forever be our babies.

Let us go back to our culture and practices; we are better off with our style of marriage. Marriages, the western style, often don’t last with Africans because we have a different orientation. If you want to go about the western way, you will have problems either with your spouse or in-laws.
Please take lessons more from your mother and not your friends.

Go more the way of your mother. Have those special and sacred plates and cutleries for your husband. Save the money for pancake and use it to get him new sets of plates. This is one of the ways to win his heart. It is not good using his cup to serve your visitor and friends. Your bedroom is sacred and friends must never be allowed to step into your matrimonial bedroom. Please guard your marriage with everything in you.

Like my friend recently said, women are not called to love their husband. Yes, there must be some level of love but God’s instruction to you is “submission”. The only way you can show him that you love him is by submitting while he in turn does the loving. Enough of the constant “I love you” with no fruit to show for it.


Written by Amara Blessing Nwosu