Wishing you all your hearts desires and more this July!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Hi lovelies,
Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I was blessed to have some chill out time this weekend hence you may have noticed that I couldn't update the site as much as I would have loved to. Over the next few days they may be moments of time outs, trust me it's not because I don't enjoy what I'm doing, it's just that it is essential for me to take a break from time to time and reflect on many plans I have (by God's grace) for the rest of the year. Also I want to make more time for the things of God. I want to literally live by the word of God that asks us to seek Him first and EVERYTHING else will be added to us.
Wishing you all an amazing, blessed and fun new week!
xx
I was pleasantly surprised to see that we have reached over 1 million views over the weekend. Considering this site has only been around for one year I am deeply overwhelmed and grateful to everyone who visits and does of you who share stories with friends. I really appreciate the love. God bless!
Chidinma
xx
I believe the story of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not new to anyone in our society. I can't say what this relationship is like outside Nigeria, but I am going to write from the Nigerian perspective.
We all know that it is always difficult for two women to dwell together and live under the same roof in unity. It doesn't matter how closely related they are, the truth is that even twins are not left out. I don't know why this is happening and I don't know when it is going to end, but as the male folks always say, women are their own worst enemies.
I have taken time to critically look at this issue because of the problems women are having in their relationships? Why is it that our men don't have this same issue with their mothers-in-law? I have also wondered why fathers-in-law don't always have issues with either the son or daughter -in-law. Isn't this the same case of women being their own enemies? I had this as a post on my Facebook wall sometime ago and from the reactions, I could see that this is a very big problem that may need a very long time to be sorted out.
I will start with daughters-in-law. I believe every woman was, is, and would be a daughter-in-law. The mothers-in-law were sometime daughters-in-law and daughters-in-law will someday become mothers-in-law. This is life;what goes around, comes around. When you understand that life is turn by turn as the musicians said it, you will be careful how you go through it.
I know how difficult and frustrating it could be when you try and do all you can to make someone happy only for the person to keep on returning evil for good.
In fact, it will take the spirit of God, an exceptional one for you to go on in your good deeds. A lot of good women and wives have been pushed to the point where they eventually become, like one of my friends says, worse than hurricane Katrina. I know there are women who are from very good homes with godly upbringing, but they became different people after marriage due to blows received from life and in-laws.
There are also women who are from very bad homes with no good upbringing and training received from the mother. This is why it is always advisable to check out the family and upbringing of the woman or man you want to go into marriage with. If the mother maltreats the father and other people around her, there is every tendency that your wife will have issues with your mother and siblings.
But there are also some girls from very good homes and with very godly upbringing, but from mixing up with peers, have cultivated some attitudes and mentality that are completely opposite of what they were brought up to know.
I have heard girls say they don't want to get married to a man whose mother is still alive. I know this statement could have been made out of fear and anxiety. I know some girls say things like this after experiencing what their mother or sister went through in marriage. But I also don't think it is a good enough reason for anyone to wish another dead. If you are someone with this kind of heart, it says one thing" you are not in love with the man because if you are, you won't pray for anything that can cause him pain.
Some women, even before getting into marriage, have this phobia for mothers-in-law. This is what makes a girl start fighting every one related to the man the moment she enters his house. Some of these mothers-in-law battles are actually ignited by daughters-in-law. Because of the mindset you carried into the marriage, you are careful not to be turned to a piece of rag by anybody. Your friends and sometimes your mother, advised you before the wedding, not to give her a chance and so even when the woman sees you as her own daughter and is very free with you, you want to protect your home.
You really have to be careful not to start a fire you cannot quench. There is nothing as strong as love. No matter how tough that woman is, you can change her with love and prayers. Your husband may never tell you, but the truth is that he is not happy about your relationship with the mother.
You may not understand, but it is always not very easy for them. Before you came, she had the son’s attentions whenever she needed it and controlled him at will. Then comes this total stranger who didn't know what she went through to train him up and now the son is gone. This is funny, but I can tell you that is what plays on their mind.
They see us as intruders who shouldn't have a place in their sons' lives. We shouldn't blame them because it is somehow natural. We are the ones who passed through the university and read psychology; we should be able to have things under control.
I understand there are times they make you feel like going mad. I know you have tried many times to hold your peace when they do what they shouldn't do. I have heard friends in church say they attended a particular meeting, not because they wanted to, but because they saw it as a good opportunity to run away from the mothers-in-law. I know there are some very difficult ones who can never be pleased, but as my people say, 'onye aghugho nwuo, onye aghugho elie ya' (if a cunny man dies, another cunny man buries him). You should be able to match her, not by staging a fight or doing things that are disrespectful; you should be able to use wisdom and love to defeat her.
I told a story sometime ago of how my mother-in-law one day said something that should ordinarily lead to some misunderstanding, but with wisdom, I was able to turn it to a joke. I remember taking her to the hospital when she came to Lagos for her routine medical care.
I wore a very long skirt, it was in vogue then, and the slit stretched from my ankle to the knee.
She didn't say anything until we got to the hospital. In the presence of the nurses and other patients, my mother-in-law complained about the skirt. In my usual manner, I didn't get upset and I am sure people expected me to be. Amidst laughter, I told her that was the in-thing and that I was going to buy it for her when she was going back. Everyone started laughing and that was the end of that case.
I want you to start seeing your mother-in-law as your own mother because that is the only time you will stop misinterpreting her words and actions. Stop feeling she is talking about you whenever she decides to speak to her son in private. Allow her, after all, the son still comes back to tell you everything they talked about and I can tell you that most times, they don't talk about you. The greatest problem we have is our heart and that is why you must have to be in control always.
I know some mothers-in-law are reading this now. You really have to understand that your daughter-in-law did not come in to take your son away from you, but to complement him. I want you to count yourself blessed by God; He decided to give you a daughter just like that. I know you had issues with them during their marriage and you never wanted your son to get married from her tribe; that is where your son found love and you have to live with it.
You just have to accept her and no matter what she had done in the past, please forgive her as a daughter and take her in. I know she is there to become a source of blessing and joy to you; please give her the chance to show you how much she loves you. She yearns for that moment when she can freely make your meal without fear of rejection and some scolding before strangers. She wants to be free to enter your bedroom and do whatever she likes with no one being afraid of the other.
Fellow young women, we have a greater role to play in this.
Don't say you won't go to her again because of what she did the first time you tried. Allow her to go to your pot and enter your room just the way your mother does. The moment you agreed to marry that man you love, you agreed to have a relationship with everything around him. You can never tell me you love your husband when you hate the woman who brought him into the world. Don't give up, go to her again and try. Keep trying until you win her over with love. I know you will.
Source: Amara Blessing
Friday, June 28, 2013
Actress Nuella Nujubigbo has long been the topic of gossip. She has been accused by the media in the past of having an affair with a top Nigerian Governor and was also held responsible for the marital breakdown of Nollywood star producer Tchidi Chikere. The actress is now taking a stand to clear her name and defend other actresses that are being labeled as 'wayward'.
Here is what she had to say about accusations that 'someone' (assumed a married man) is funding her luxury lifestyle.
In a month, Tonto can shoot six movies. So multiply that N400,000 by six in a month. Even if she doesn’t have the whole money for the car of her choice, she can deposit half of the money with a dealer and they will give her the car because she is a star. So, people need to understand all this whenever they want to criticize us."
Nana is the CEO of Nadine Beauty who are responsible for the picture perfect faces of many stunning brides you may have seen on this site. Now it is her turn to receive a bridal makeover.
Nana is set to wed her long-term boo Ojuederhie Onoriode.
Check out some of her work below:
Wishing the adorable couple a very happy married life!
Nollywood actress and singer Tonto Dikeh shared the below message on her Instagram account:
no 1 kwz my struggle, al they see is Tonto diz Tonto dat!!!! nt kwin hw hard it hurt deep down to loose ur mom at d age of 3, n it hurt d most nt to hav her enjoy d fruit of her child birth, Mom i missed u alot #POKO
it is really sad because not many will really understand what this lady has been through and how much one not having their biological mother raise them. But I will say that they are many wonderful step mums. Felt sad for Tonto reading this, but God is alive.
Aww, this story is so heartwarming. A baby born a week before the legal abortion limit defied expectations to battle back from the brink of death and make a miracle recovery.
Safari Hutchinson was born just 23 weeks into his mother’s pregnancy - weighing just over 600g - just over half a regular bag of sugar.
Doctors battled to save his life, and were forced to break his ribs as they gave him CPR seconds after birth in a bid to keep his tiny heart beating.
But now, six months after he was born, he has finally been able to go home with mum Nadine Osbourne, and dad Aubin Hutchinson, both 31.
Ms Osbourne, from West Bridgeford, Nottinghamshire, said: 'I had already suffered a miscarriage at 19 weeks in a previous pregnancy, so when I went into labour at 23 weeks, I feared the worst.
'After he was born, the doctors said they didn’t know whether he would survive. I went from being on the world’s biggest high to the world’s biggest low.
'It was a fight for his life. I was losing a lot of blood too, but I didn’t care about me, I could only focus on him.
'But he came through it - it’s a miracle. He is so strong and I’m so so proud of him. I wasn’t allowed to hold him for five weeks, which was heart-breaking but I understood.
'We’re so happy just to have him home.'
Nadine tragically miscarried in 2008 after a 19-week pregnancy, but was overjoyed when she and Aubin found out they were expecting a baby boy, last August.
However, her pregnancy this time only lasted 23 weeks and five days. The latest an abortion can be carried out in the UK is 24 weeks - two days after Safari was born.
Shortly after his birth, Safari had to have a life-saving operation to close a valve near his heart.
He was was transferred from Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham to Glenfield Hospital, Leiceister, for the high-risk operation, which left his blood pressure severely low.
However, Ms Osbourne says she is now ecstatic about her son’s miraculous recovery.
She said: 'He’s absolutely wonderful now. We can’t believe it. He’s showing all the signs of a happy and healthy baby.
'He’s awake every three or four hours, because he needs feeding - but that’s a good sign.
'I’d thought about the name anyway while I pregnant. Safari means to "go on a journey" and that’s exactly what’s happened. It’s been emotional.
'It all happened so quickly once he was born. I had to have steroids before I gave birth to help with a problem with his lungs.
'Once I hugged him, it was amazing. I was over the moon and took pictures and sent them to everyone.
'He had a ventilator in his throat which got dislodged and he nearly died because he stopped breathing. The doctors had to give him CPR and I went from the biggest high ever to rock-bottom.
'He had to have an operation too when they discovered he had a murmur after three days. He wasn’t getting enough blood to his kidneys and we were all so worried for him.
'The doctors said he might not survive. A premature baby’s blood pressure is supposed to be above 35. Doctors worry between 20-30, and his got to as low as 13.
'He’s been on a journey - I’m so happy and so proud.'
Grandma Beverley Osbourne, 55, said: 'I remember that day when he nearly died.
'I got to the hospital after I saw the photo of Nadine giving him a cuddle, and at that point I was so happy.
'But it got worse quickly. The sister of the ward said to me, once they saved him, "that was close".
'But he’s gorgeous now. I know every grandma will say that about their own grandchild, but it’s true.
'We all pulled together as a family, and that helped. A pastor came to say prayers and our prayers were answered.'
Dr Stephen Wardle who treated Safari said: 'We are doing something right.
'We are one of the biggest trusts in the region but statistically premature babies are more likely
to survive here in Nottingham than any other hospital in the region.'
All Glory to God! :)
Source: Daily Mail
Ghanaian actress Juliet Ibrahim has come under fire, mortar and brimstones after releasing statements on her Instagram page that asked ailing singer and producer OJB Jezreel’s handlers “to reach out to the right people and stop harassing celebrities for funds”. In a fresh statement hastily released by her media manager, Juliet cries out that her words were misunderstood.
“I don’t mean for my tweets to be misconstrued and I won’t take OJB’s health problems with levity as many have misconstrued me…
All I was trying to do was bring an idea of where we can get the transplant done since it’s utmost necessary we get it done soonest and funds ain’t coming in as much expected, thus, I thought we could try a better and certified centre which isn’t as expensive as the current one in UK when there are several cheaper countries to perform the surgery. Also instead of people lashing out on celebrities, they should rather be asking the government to help.
“It should be further noted that we are all finding a lasting solution to help end the pain of the talented entertainer and bring smile to his face once again and not generate issue out of someone’s suggestion or hand of help,”
She stated further ““Currently I have 2 relatives living with kidney failure whom I’m responsible for and caring for, thus, I’m no stranger to whatever OJB is going through.”
Source: Vanguardngr
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Hi beautifuls, please help this young lady. She's an African Sweetheart reader who is really keen to get some advise. Kindly advise her as you would your sister. Thank you.
Good day African Sweetheart, I choose to share this with your blog, because a lot of responsible minds visit this blog, I'm 21 going on 22 and also a finalist in unibadan and I'm in a relationship that's almost 2 years old, December to be precise...
We often quarrel because of the distance between us and he keeps accusing of cheating because I'm in Ibadan and he his In delta! I love him like a retard misses the point... and honestly I cross my heart! I have never cheated! All I do is normal outing...
I love him so much, but the issue here is, he his a workaholic, he ain't romantic, he only return miss calls and the worse part is he has issues with communications! whenever I try to talk about our relationship he says " this is what I don't like" and I end up letting it be!
He keeps saying don't worry everything is fine, take my words! When I don't ping him for three consecutive days, he gets worried and say " you don't check on me anymore right"??
I think I'm been too loving or I'm been stupid, I don't know.... less I forget, my only friend thinks I'm stupid because I don't ask him for money nor anything, it's almost 2yrs and the last time I collected money from him his 2011 when we started dating!
He says I'm proud because I don't ask for things! Pls let me end it here, I'm just confused about this whole relationship i must be sincere... what do you think, be sincere and blunt... but I love him and don't wanna loose him.... thanks for been sincere with your comments!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
A great story with a solid lesson to teach and a reminder to every woman. Please continue reading and don’t forget to share…..someone out there might need this!
“Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”
…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone.
Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as well be a widow.”
The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.
“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking?
“Nine, ten…ish.”
Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.” Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never—” “Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride. Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.
“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionaire-oil- company-golden-husband. Gosh I envy her life, her perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair. Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”
“I—”
“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.”
“But—”
“Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”
Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired, drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion. “Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your voicemail. What’s wrong?” I cock my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My head spins. “Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming from?” He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham—”
“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!”
He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.
* * *
I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womaniser of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…”
Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want to call the police, do something…anything. But I cannot move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend is pummelled by her husband. The beating stops. I should dash to my car, but something holds me back. “I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.”
“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.”
That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.
* * *
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up? And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.”
“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?”
* * *
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart xxx.”
I type a quick response back: “Ciao! and i deleted her number right away.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Life as a young girl
I was born in a village – Ihiala, in Anambra State, where I also spent my early years. I attended Community Primary School and Girls High School all in Ihiala before I got married. Thereafter I attended Yaba College of Technology to read Business Administration before I went to the University of Lagos in 2000 to read Curriculum Education.
Her truncated dreams
Before I got married at the age of 17, I got admission to read Medicine and Surgery at the University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus (UNEC), but my husband then (now ex-husband) stopped me from fulfilling my dream of being a medical doctor.
Family background
I was born into a good Christian home. My father is a pastor and had been a pastor for 45 years. I have six siblings, and I am the first daughter and the third child.
Married life
I got married at the age of 17, just after leaving secondary school to Mr. Ulasi from Nnewi because they are our family friend. So, it was like being pushed to a total stranger; somebody I knew nothing about. I never enjoyed the marriage from the first day. I did not even know the man because, as a Christian I believe that I should not live with a man before I got married. I got into his house three days to our wedding here in Lagos.
Family’s role in her early marriage
My father initially refused the marriage, but he later agreed in order to protect his relationship with my ex-husband’s family. My former husband’s brother was very close to my father and was always coming to my father for prayer and counseling. My father was just there as their family pastor. So, they pleaded with him to give them his daughter and that was it.
Experience during marriage
In fact my pains started two days after the wedding. While the marriage lasted, there was nothing like happiness. I was in the marriage for 13 years 10 months. I don’t like remembering those years because it was years of miseries and pains. I was dying inside and people were seeing just the wealth, the beautiful cars, the holidays abroad, the treats and all that. It was only my very close friend, who knew what I was going through, but I couldn't tell anybody because of my kind of upbringing. I was brought up to keep my home and was committed to just doing that.
Life as a counselor
People were bringing their own wives for counseling, especially from the church and the estate where we live. People were coming to me with their problems, but I just couldn’t disappoint them. I think God took me through it and brought me out. For me to be alive, without scars on my body, is a miracle. If you look at the things God is using me to do in the lives of women in relationships, you will know that God used that experience to prepare me for the job ahead.
I have four kids-two boys and two girls. They are now with me, because the court gave me custody of the children. I spend about 1.2 million every term for their education because my ex-husband has never contributed anything for the children’s upkeep since we separated about three years ago. I don’t want to fight him. I have decided to take my eyes away from man and focuses on God. God will always make a name for Himself. I have wonderful friends that help out too.
The Dorcas Generation Initiative is something I am passionate about; I always have this soft spot for widows and the less privileged, even when I was still married. I started that between 1998 and1999 when I joined a women fellowship. I was the vice president and later president. In that fellowship, we experienced what is happening in our churches these days - where the rich are separated from the poor. I started wondering why do people turn their backs against the poor people and treat them as if they are animals. I would leave my house to visit them in their houses from one room to the other, putting smiles on their faces.
I remember sometimes during fellowship days, when I would carry them from their homes, because I wanted to create an atmosphere where they know that they deserve better lives and treatment.
That was how it started and they became very close to me and I saw myself bringing them into my house, cook for them, started businesses for some of them, spend time with them, counsel them and give some money.
So, that is how it started and in 2009 some thing happened when I was locked out of my matrimonial home because of a girl friend, who sent my former husband a text message (SMS) that she wanted to become Mrs Ulasi.
When I was locked out, I remembered those women fasted for me for three days. The whole widows fasted and prayed for me for three days. When I heard what they did, I was touched that this women loved me this much to have done that.
When I came out of my marriage, I found myself spending more time with them.
Life after separation
Between 2008 and 2009, I was not my self. With all the sponsored negative publications and everything, I had to withdraw from public engagements. But my mentor, Senator Babafemi Ojodu, encouraged me to start writing then. He also called me and say, this your thing about widows why don’t you make it official since you have passion for this. That is how the Dorcas Generation started
Her new books
The titles of the two books are: Men’s grooming and Women’s grooming. The book is a compilation of my write-ups on relationship, health tips and lots more.
Advise for younger girls
I have a column for singles on facebook , where we discuss a lot of issues bordering on relationships. By the second week of December, I will start a monthly conference for singles as well as a television programme. This is because a lot of things are going wrong when it
comes to relationships.
Many are attracted to the wrong things and people get into relationship for the wrong reasons. Ladies should look for a man, whose heart, God had touched. It is not about being spiritual; some
people are spiritual, but their hearts have not been touched by God.
In fact, most very spiritual people do not make good husbands. I tell people to avoid very spiritual men as husband, but rather look for men, who genuinely love God and have conscience.
For women, I tell guys that look at the physical beauty, not get attracted to the wrong thing. It is not about beauty or education; look for women, who have found favour before God.
When I left Unilag and my husband stopped me from working and going for my Masters, I noticed that I have this flair for anything beauty and human body and that is why initially, I wanted to go into Medicine. I later took up interest in setting up a beauty spa centre, called Life Plus Gym and Beauty Spa Ltd.
Plans to remarry
I don’t know how God healed the whole thing. Now I have this kind of heart that there is no room for enmity, malice and bitterness in me.
It has really helped me. Bitterness can only keep you down. That is what I tell people that come to me for counseling.
I can re-marry, but I am taking my time, because getting married as a single mother with four children is not easy. It is not about money, in fact to be frank with you, I don’t even want to get married to a rich man again, because I have seen money and I have seen the pains.
If you are married to a rich man, who is your friend, he will treat you well, but I want to get married to a man, who is my friend. And until I get into that level with a man, there is nothing like marriage with me. Getting married is not just about me now, it is also about the children, because I have to get married to a man who will be a father to the children and love them genuinely.
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